Barabbas? Really?

The CAPTION THIS Contest For September 21st!

Dlisted.

When Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere, but that instead an uproar was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd. "I am innocent of this man's blood," he said. "It is your responsibility!"  Matthew 27:24

Casting Pearls Before Swine.

"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:6

The meaning is pretty simple to figure out; "Do not persist in offering what is sacred or of value to those who have no appreciation for it, because your gift will not only become contaminated and be despised, your generous efforts could also be rebuffed and perhaps even openly attacked."

Monkey And The Fish.

A typhoon had temporarily stranded a monkey on an island. In a secure, protected place on the shore, while waiting for the raging waters to recede, he spotted a fish swimming against the current. It seemed obvious to the monkey that the fish was struggling and in need of assistance. Being of kind heart, the monkey resolved to help the fish.
A tree precariously dangled over the spot where the fish seemed to be struggling. At considerable risk to himself, the monkey moved far out on a limb, reached down and snatched the fish from the threatening waters. Immediately scurrying back to the safety of his shelter, he carefully laid the fish on dry ground. For a few moments the fish showed excitement, but soon settled into a peaceful rest.

Joy and satisfaction swelled inside the monkey. He had successfully helped another creature.

My Babe's Been Short With Me Lately.

Q.What's the difference between a Bris and a Get*?
 A: With a Get, you're rid of the whole schmuck. (A "Get" is a divorce)

My Excuses.

Parable Of Great Supper. 

"A certain man gave a great supper and invited many"

http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/luke-chapter-14/

 

Dates.

One day the Hodja and his wife were eating dates. Hodja's wife noticed that the Hodja was eating the dates with their seeds. `Hodja Effendi, why are you eating the dates with the seeds?' she asked. `Because when the grocer sold them to me, he weighed them with the seeds.' was Hodja's explanation.

Helva Blues.

One day Nasreddin Hodja felt like eating helva. He would have made some but there was no butter, no sugar and no flour at home. The larder was empty, his stomach was empty and his pockets were empty. He was being tormented with the dream of a huge plate full of helva and he was getting hungrier and hungrier. Finally, he decided to walk down the road to the grocery store.
 `Do you have flour?' he asked the grocer.
`I certainly do, Hodja Effendi.'
`Do you have sugar?'
 `Yes, I do.'
 `Do you have butter?'
 `Yes, Hodja Effendi.'
 `So then, what's holding you back, my friend? Make yourself a good pot of helva and eat it!'